Maria Lorenz Natano

Application Essay

“Tell me more about yourself,” a question I both like and hate. As someone who is still in the journey of learning about myself, I often find myself lost. Sometimes I want to pick up from an old hobby such as musical instruments or digital art and sometimes I want to just refine mathematical skills people praise me for. But either path I took I always found financial challenges and difficulties along the way.

All throughout my years in Junior High School I have been afraid to try new things fearing it might be only a burden to my single-mother who is raising me alongside my older siblings who failed to finish college due to our financial hardships. One day, I obtained the motivation to try participating in an international math competition only to go home and hear another fight due to disagreements in money.

At the start of my Grade 11, I was determined to finally discover my potential with my mother reassuring me about the expenses. I still had my doubts that eventually set me back. Even though she gave me reassurance I still could see her being more frequently sick, our sari-sari store having fewer products, and debts that started to pile up. With a registration fee that is equivalent to her monthly income, with my wavering mind still unsure if I would like to take a STEM-related college course, I wonder can it really be worth it?

My participation only led to failures, heartbreaks, and disappointment to myself back then. While trying my best to focus I still kept pondering the problems and stress that arise when going through the application process. Seeing the results with only “merit award” instead of any medal brought me down. And after a while, I realized that I want my career to be an artist. So I wondered again, was the money only wasted for a selfish reason?

Even after that I did not lose hope. Thinking back on the events in that academic year, I am an honor student, I handled my heaviest public speaking activity in my life, I did well on my first time being a leader in a research project, I found the goal I want to achieve, and I am still me. Instead of shrinking to despair thinking I became a burden to my family, I just tried to learn from it as an experience.

I believe that receiving financial support from the ANI Scholarship would open up more opportunities for my future. As I approach the college entrance examinations in Grade 12, I hope to ease the financial burden on my family and help reduce the stress we currently face. This support would not only allow me to focus more on my academic goals, but also give me the freedom to further explore and develop my artistic potential without restraint. our household. I would also like to remove my restraints on my artistic side, developing myself even further.

Exit Essay

I still remember the day my friend Abi recommended applying for ANI Scholarship, I was sighing while looking at my phone again seeing another registration for a math competition. In that time the sigh carried the financial burden I felt knowing the cost of training and registrations. The pressure from myself built up and eventually the burnout already became hard to ignore. I finally let go of my obsession with mathematics and decided to pursue my dream in creation and craft, in arts.

When I applied for the scholarship, doubts creeped into me as I believed I could no longer be the “best version” of myself. I abandoned my passion when I was still a kid thinking I’m not good
enough for it and I have been known all throughout my life as the math genius. This thinking was a bad habit of mine almost my entire high school, I always believed people had high expectations from me. I did research in solo during grade 11 and 12, I do not share struggles with people until I get over it, and I even don’t ask sometimes for extra money from my mother when needed, I just skip lunch to save all of this so as to not disappoint anyone having me in their lives. However ANI still welcomed me with open arms giving me support I would always be grateful for.

During the dinner with the other scholars, Tito Phil asked each of us what course we would be getting in college. In that room filled with future engineers and doctors, I reluctantly replied “fine arts” and instead of the usual unimpressed and shocked faces, I received enthusiasm and encouragement from everyone. I felt weight on my shoulders slowly being removed and that going for what I really love will be worth it. For me, ANI became more than a monetary aid but a community that will push me to be what I dream to be.

I know some wounds are still yet to heal and some up and downs are yet to come but I would like to show my appreciation to this trust given to me. Being given such help was not only an opportunity but a responsibility. A responsibility to grow, a responsibility to reach countless potentials. To be part of this wonderful community will be forever part of me that I will always look back to in the future and I will always find way to pay forward the push it gave me.